Recently I went to a co-worker's baby shower, and when it was over, I walked away without feeling like I wanted to find a corner and cry. Seriously. That's a big deal. I can't count the baby showers, bridal showers, or weddings I've attended where I had literally had to fight the tears. I'd hold myself together until I got home, then let myself have that cry.
But not this time. I watched the mommy-to-be, looking adorable and sweetly tired, and felt nothing but happiness for her and her husband. They will be awesome parents, living out their faith in God before their little son.
Shortly after the shower, a day or two later, another co-worker's precocious son unexpectedly stopped by my classroom before school started. Out of the blue, the sweet and curious second grader asked if I was married yet. I believe his exact words were: "Are you not married yet?"
When I gave my standard answer that no, I was not married yet, he proceeded with his next question, asked with a trace of impatience: "When are you gonna get someone?"
After I explained that I didn't know when I was going to "get" someone, he promptly turned around and scurried away, ready to begin his school day.
Whereas me? I searched my feelings. No sharp pierce to the heart at the reminder his innocent (if not nosy!) question stirred. I felt like laughing. Yes, I'm still unmarried and no, I don't know when I'm finally going to "get" someone. But instead of wanting to chase him out of my room, I chuckled when he left and wondered where those random questions came from.
So, I'm amazed once again at God's provision and at how far He's brought me. These two separate events showed me once again the healing He's applied to my heart. Do I still long to be married and have my own baby? Sure. No doubt. But for now, I'm okay. God's given me a testimony to share, and I'll share it as long as I'm able. (Even if I do wait months between blog posts!)
I'm in His will. I'm in His hands. And I'm safe...
In His Grip!