I recently read a couple posts by two separate friends on Facebook, expressing their struggle on this particular holiday. Both are happily married and enjoy good relationships with their mothers. But they have yet to experience the blessings of motherhood. Thus it makes this day rather bittersweet.
And I have to admit, I can relate. While I feel so fortunate that I can spend this day with my own wonderful mother, and appreciate so much that she is still here with me, I long for the time that I can actually celebrate being a mother myself.
I may not be in the place in my life where I am actually ready to start a family, like so many married couples who struggle with infertility. But that doesn't keep me from desiring children of my own. And it can be difficult to sit in a Mother's Day church service year after year where mothers are lauded as God's precious gifts to mankind and wonder why I haven't been given that privilege yet.
But, even in the midst of the longing, I have found peace. No, I'm not always happy with my situation, and no I don't skip about life without a care. I ache to hold my own baby. I envy every new mother. I have had to accept the fact that I will never win the "Youngest Mother" gift at my church. Or any mother's gift at all. I don't always feel peaceful. And sometimes I cry.
But always, I am reminded of how much God loves me. I may not understand His plan for my life, but I know that He has one. He hasn't forgotten me. And I also know that He is enough. As much as I long for a family of my own, I have come to the place that He is truly all I need. I have given my dreams and desires to Him, surrendered my will to His.
I used to wonder when people talked about "giving it to God." How does one go about doing that? How can someone suddenly stop wanting something and accept what God wants instead? Well, I guess the best way that I can explain it is that I have come to the place where I realized that nothing is going to fill my life and my heart the way Jesus can. Nothing is going to make me truly happy, save my relationship with the Lord. And while that desire may not ever go away completely, I am content to know that when I am feeling lonely or empty, God's grace will be sufficient. And I find that the more I surrender to Him, the more I give up my dreams and goals and plans, the more peace I have.
No, that's not to say that I have suddenly lost my desire to be a mother. Far from it. I still hope for it someday. But I have learned that for now, I can be content. I can rest in the knowledge that He is enough.
So, for all those ladies out there, married or single, that are still longing to be mothers, let me encourage you. God loves you. He feels your pain, and is willing to share it. And while this day may be difficult to get through, I hope you will be blessed in some way. And I hope that the desires of your heart will someday be fulfilled.
But I hope that you will also find your greatest source of comfort, joy, and peace in the arms of our Heavenly Father. Because we are always
In His Grip!
No matter how lonely you get or how many birth announcements you receive, the trick is not to get frightened. There's nothing wrong with being alone."